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Men Bashing

January 12th, 2012 Leave a comment Go to comments

WARNING: Do not read the below if you are easily offended. At the risk of lessening the impact of some of my points, I, as a courtesy, replaced the expletives with more (or less) appropriate words to make the article more family friendly. If you feel the need to entertain yourself, see how many you can spot. Anyway…you’ve been warned.

Some people say I’m a quiet guy. I would have to agree with them. Being quiet gives me the opportunity to sit back and observe how others go about their daily lives.

This is me in action. If you suddenly hear the Pink Panther theme, ignore it, it totally doesn’t mean that I’m watching you.

If there’s one thing I’m sure of, is that people have emotions. They get happy, they get sad, they get aroused, they get depressed, they get frustrated…you get the idea. We as humans cannot deny that at one point in our lives we’ve complained about something. Some of us complain regularly and yes, I could very well be one of those people. At least I have the guts to admit it.

Yes, I intentionally keep putting the word “some” in italics. This is by design, bear with me.

Guys, how many times has this happened to you? You’re walking down the street or browsing the web checking various social avenues when you come across a group of women who have nothing positive to say about the male species. You’ll hear things like:

“ALL men are the same.”

“Definitely!””

“ALL men treat me like crap.”

“Rock on!” (*Guitar riff* Party Time! Excellent!)

“I’m tired of dating boys, where are the real men?”

“You go girl!”

“They’re nothing but a bunch of Dancing with the Stars. There are no real men.”

“Represent!”

“Oh, but they do have their uses, I find it easier to just throw mine away when I’m done with them.”

“Just make sure you drain their wallets first.”

“Preach it sisters, preach it like Whoopi did in Sister Act!”

“YEAH!”

“Let’s all become Mord Sith (watch Legend of the Seeker, folks) and dominate men everywhere!”

“YEAHHHHH!”

“IS THE FORCE WITH US ALWAYS!?”

“YEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

“CAN WE FIX IT!?”

“YES WE CAN!!!”

“VAGIIIIIIISSSSILLLLL POWWWWWWWER!!!”

Expecting a nice, clear, close up of the female anatomy? Sorry readers, my blog is classier than that.

At this point, they usually pull out their Mighty Morphin Power Ranger belt buckles and morph into the Lorena Bobbitt fan club. Some of those women even step it up by wearing revealing attire, classy or not. You’ll know them when you see them. They are usually the ones that let their bosoms fall out of their shirt or wear a skirt seven times smaller than what they can wear because they quote unquote hate the attention and verbally wish men would stop looking at them. Some women really get Office Depot using the words, “ALL men.”

Yes, I am intentionally putting the word ALL in caps. You get a gold star for noticing. Hang in there.

What these type of women (Pay attention ladies, I said, “type of women”, not ALL) fail to mention in their so-called conversation is the male stranger who helped them out at the store when they were short a quarter or the guy who helped them solve an issue at work that allowed them make an important deadline. Hypocrites.

Nothing pisses me off more than reading an exchange on Facebook or watching a conversation between women where they continuously bash ALL men because they supposedly never get what they want. Some complain about what they have. Some complain about what they don’t have. Some complain not knowing how good they really have it. Seriously, it makes my blood boil. Just once during those men bashing sessions would I like to hear, “Girl, shut the Liberty Bell up. Your man works three jobs to support kids that aren’t even his and you’re complaining that he doesn’t buy you nice things? Please…he doesn’t deserve a Buster Bunny like you.”

“But…But Vince. You don’t get it. I’ve gotten hurt so many times I can’t trust men anymore!” Women confide in me often and I hear this a lot. Every single time I reply with, “You can keep your guard up, but be fair and give people you’ve never met a chance or else you’ll miss out on new opportunities. Do you really want to be lonely for the rest of your life because you are too afraid to take another chance?”

News Flash: Bad experiences with some men in the past doesn’t mean that ALL men act the same way.

Some, not ALL. (Get it now?)

There are men out there that will love you, care for you, and do his best to make you happy but you, the aforementioned women, don’t give them the time of day because they don’t wear a wife beater, have an alcohol problem, and give you a black eye every Friday night. Ever try getting a lifetime commitment from the “bad boy” type? How did that work out for you? For some strange reason, these particular women (Still paying attention? I’m able to write whole paragraphs without discriminating against ALL women, look at me go!) are attracted to the very men that do the things that they loathe and instead of doing something about it, they lump ALL men into a category and hold a giant estrogen mosh pit.

Having trouble picturing an estrogen mosh pit? Shrink your local pharmacy with the gun you stole from Rick Moranis and place it into a running blender.

It’s ironic that these kind of women (holy horse manure Batman, I’m on a roll) who complain that they can’t find happiness are the very women who discriminate against the good men that are out there. Just as a FYI, underlining “are” and putting it in italics was just for emphasis. Don’t hurt your brain thinking about that one.

Granted, some men are complete 2011 Income & Expense Matricies and have no drive to make something of themselves. I can understand why the men bashers would be frustrated dating those kinds of men. They could, however, quit SimCity 4000-ing and DO something about it…like, I don’t know, find someone else that would treat them better?

People who discriminate often double as cowards. Not only are they cowards for not keeping an open mind but also for not stepping up and doing what needs done rather than Taco Bell Drive-Thru-ing about it.

For the record, some men do it too. They are just as guilty when they say, “Women are such Baskin Robbins” and “I Excedrin Migrained seven different women this week, how about you” as if it were some sort of barbaric pissing contest. I’ve heard conversations in the men’s restroom at work about women that make me want to soil their nice five hundred-dollar suits with a carefully timed, “oops.”

However, for some women to say that ALL men are no good, including the men that have been nothing but nice to them, is a clear sign that the good men should probably steer clear for fear of being treated with the same, childish attitude.

Can’t find a good guy you say, Miss “Men are just objects to use”?

Food For Thought: Do you think that maybe the problem is you?

*Editor’s Note: Today’s pet peeve was brought to you by the number zero. (As in, the amount of patience I have with men bashers) Before you leave nasty comments, keep in mind that I did leave a warning at the beginning of this article and “bleeped” out all of those nasty words. Hugs and kisses.

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